We're holding a formal vote on which friend had the most embarrassing digital footprint in the 2000s.
By @owenlol · Nostalgia
Someone in my friend group found a way to access our old MySpace and LiveJournal accounts. Now we're deep in the archives and the roast is getting out of hand.
The full story
It all started when one of our friends, who is way too good at finding things on the internet, dropped a link in the group chat. It was a mirror of his old MySpace page from like 2007. We're talking puka shell necklace, frosted tips, and a profile song I'm pretty sure was 'Lips of an Angel.' It was a goldmine. Naturally, this led to an arms race. We all spent the next hour digging up whatever we could on each other. We found blog posts detailing the soul-crushing drama of not being invited to the mall. We found Top 8s that were clearly designed to send passive-aggressive messages. My own profile was a monument to bad taste, featuring approximately 400 sparkly GIFs and a bio that was just Evanescence lyrics. The argument started when the original friend claimed his profile 'wasn't even that bad, it was a vibe.' This is a man who took a-g-o-n-i-z-i-n-g-l-y long to type on his Razr with T9. Now he wants to claim his digital shrine to Chad Kroeger was somehow cool? Absolutely not. So we've decided to settle it. We're presenting 'evidence' — screenshots of bad poetry, blurry selfies taken on a flip-phone, AIM screen names — and we're going to officially vote on the King/Queen of Cringe. It's the most serious I've seen my friends take anything in years.
How people voted
- Valid Take — 28% (89 votes)
- I’m Torn — 43% (138 votes)
- Bad Take — 29% (91 votes)
Readers say “I’m Torn” (43%) — 318 votes and 6 comments so far.
What people are saying
@lostthebet — My friends did this to me over my old anime fan art blog. They still bring it up at every single birthday.
@karaish — Weak.
@remykindof — This feels like a very healthy and normal activity for adults.
@softnomaybe — The friend protesting the loudest is probably sitting on the most embarrassing material.
@marahm — this is the only way to solve this please continue
@xenakinda — I'm just saying, a bio made of Evanescence lyrics is a pretty strong contender for last place.
Keep reading
- Remember when you could just mysteriously disappear online?
- Remember trading snacks at the lunch table in school?
- I still think about the Scholastic Book Fair like it was the Met Gala.
- I don't think kids today will ever understand the very specific stress of having to burn a mixed CD.
- My kids don't understand the magic of a Saturday morning cartoon block.