Our team-building Mario Kart tournament has escalated into a full-blown corporate cold war.
By @wesyk · Work
Management thought a retro gaming competition would be a fun, low-stakes way to boost morale. They were wrong. People are now holding strategy meetings and alliances have formed between departments.
The full story
It started as a genuinely nice idea. Our office can be a bit siloed, so a company-wide Mario Kart 64 tournament on the big projector seemed like a harmless bit of fun. The prize was just a $50 gift card and a goofy plastic trophy. That was three weeks ago. I don't know when the shift happened, but it's gotten incredibly serious. First, the marketing team started circulating 'scouting reports' on players from other departments. Then the engineering team created a shared document analyzing the optimal character/kart combinations for each track. I saw three people from accounting practicing on an emulator during their lunch break, taking notes on the Rainbow Road shortcut. They have a whole playbook. Alliances are real. Marketing and Sales have a non-aggression pact for the early rounds. Finance and Legal are a powerhouse duo who have apparently been practicing their item-sharing strategy. It's ridiculous. People who barely spoke to each other are now either sworn enemies over a blue shell incident in a qualifying round or best friends bonded by a mutual hatred for anyone who picks Toad. The tournament finals are next week and you can feel the tension. My boss, a senior director, pulled me aside to ask if my performance in the first round was indicative of my 'killer instinct' for an upcoming project. I was just trying not to drive off the bridge in Koopa Troopa Beach. I think this might have been a massive miscalculation for office morale.
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