Our 'perfect' anniversary dinner ended with the most awkward car ride of my life.
By @danimm · Money
I thought we were celebrating, but my girlfriend went behind my back to change the tip I left for our server because she thought it was too much. Now I'm just sitting here completely mortified.
The full story
For our three-year anniversary, I took my girlfriend to this amazing steakhouse we've been wanting to try. It was pricey, but the night was flawless. The waiter was on another level—attentive, funny, gave us great recommendations, the whole nine yards. A true professional. The bill came, and it was about what I expected, around $450. The service was so good I didn't even blink. I calculated a tip of around $120, a little over 25%, wrote it on the slip, and put my card in the folder. I felt great about it. I like to reward great service, and we could afford it. Then things got weird. My girlfriend said she had to use the restroom. The waiter came and picked up the bill folder. As he was walking away, I saw my girlfriend intercept him by the POS station. She was talking to him for a moment with the folder open, and I just had this sinking feeling in my gut. What was she doing? She came back to the table all smiles, but the whole vibe had shifted. When the waiter brought back the receipt for me to sign, he wouldn't make eye contact. He was super brisk and just said 'Have a good night' and walked away. I opened the folder and my stomach just dropped. The tip line now read '$60.' The walk to the car was dead silent. I was fuming. I couldn't even look at her. We get in the car and I finally just asked, 'What was that?' She gets all defensive and says she 'fixed' the tip because $120 was 'an obscene amount of money to just give away' and that a little over 10% was 'perfectly fine.' She told me she just discreetly told the server I'd made a mistake on the math. I was so embarrassed I could barely speak. To her, she was being financially responsible. To me, she publicly undercut me and embarrassed both of us over a tip I was happy to give. The rest of the drive home was in total silence and now we're just avoiding each other. I don't even know what to say.
How people voted
- On their side — 31% (30 votes)
- Both sides — 39% (37 votes)
- Other side — 30% (29 votes)
Readers are split: “Both sides” leads with 39% — 96 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@tessish — Did she have any idea you intended to tip that much?
@leo — omfg
@reeseyk — This reminds me of when my buddy's wife tried to return a steak at a restaurant because she said it was 'too big' for him. I'd be fuming.
@remysorta — She had absolutely no right to do that, it was so disrespectful to you and the waiter. You're handling this way better than I would have.
@yeahsame — $120 is a wild tip, maybe she was just trying to save you from yourself.
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