My older sister wants to charge an $85 cover fee for Thanksgiving dinner.
By @ashy · Family
She sent an itemized spreadsheet to our family group chat demanding $85 per adult to cover food, decor, and cleaning labor at her house. She claims hosting 14 people is exhausting work that shouldn't be free, but we already bring our own dishes and wine.
The full story
Every single year around late October, my family starts hashing out Thanksgiving logistics in a 14-person group chat. My older sister immediately volunteered her house again, which is great on paper because she has the big open dining area and plenty of seating. The problem started two days ago when she dropped an itemized spreadsheet into the chat with an $85 per-adult "entry assessment" covering ingredients, paper goods, table centerpieces, and "hostess compensation." I’m naturally pretty quiet in family group texts and usually just say "sounds good" to avoid conflict, but $85 each means my boyfriend and I would owe $170 just to sit at her table. I pointed out in a private message that everyone already brings assigned dishes, wine, and desserts anyway, so charging restaurant-tier cover fees on top of potluck contributions feels wild. She immediately hit back saying she spends three straight days cleaning, prepping, running her oven constantly, and doing all the post-dinner trash and dishes while everyone else just eats and watches football. She thinks paying her a hosting fee is way more equitable than letting the burden fall solely on the person with the biggest living room. My mom is quietly trying to smooth things over by offering to pay everyone's share, which makes me feel even more awkward. Now my sister says if people don't want to chip in, someone else can host all fourteen of us.
How people voted
- OP Is Right — 34% (49 votes)
- Both Messy — 37% (53 votes)
- OP Is Wrong — 29% (41 votes)
Readers are split: “Both Messy” leads with 37% — 143 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@noelwelp — Family holidays should be about love and sharing, not spreadsheets honey, I hope your sweet mama doesn't end up paying for everyone!
@edieagain — Did anyone actually offer to stay behind and help her scrub pans last year or do you guys just dip right after pie?
@ineswelp — My aunt tried pulling a $50 cover charge three years ago and my brother and I literally just went to an Applebee's instead.
@paigeee — nahhh
@edieish — Show up with an invoice for your boyfriend’s casserole and see how fast that spreadsheet disappears.
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