My friend's new boyfriend just tried to mediate our group chat argument in person.
By @brynntbh · Friends
We have this dumb, years-long debate about whether pineapple on pizza is a war crime. He witnessed a flare-up and unironically tried to host a 'restorative justice circle' in her living room to find a compromise.
The full story
I cannot physically recover from the secondhand embarrassment. We were all at my friend's apartment before going out, and the 'pizza debate' started up in the group chat again. Her new bf, who we've met twice, sees the messages, then sees us laughing about it in person, and decides this is his moment to shine. He literally stood up, clapped his hands, and said 'Okay team, let's talk this out.' I thought he was joking. He was not joking. The words 'talking stick' were almost uttered. We all just stared at him while he tried to get us to share our 'pizza trauma'. My friend looked like she wanted the floor to swallow her whole.
How people voted
- OP Is Right — 35% (46 votes)
- Both Messy — 38% (51 votes)
- OP Is Wrong — 27% (36 votes)
Readers are split: “Both Messy” leads with 38% — 133 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@violetmaybe — Why didn't your friend just tell her boyfriend to sit down?
@quinnkindof — The next time he talks you should start a restorative justice circle about his approach to conflict.
@oopsmybad — This intervention feels way too extreme for a pizza debate; maybe your 'flare-up' was worse than you're letting on.
@notmykid — A man who tries to solve problems is a good thing to have around.
@jules — Soft.
Keep reading
- I broke my family's group chat.
- I am one emoji reaction away from leaving my main group chat.
- I'm in a group chat war over whether to delete our old Myspace profiles.
- We cannot agree on if you have to pay for food you ordered but didn't eat.
- Every time my friend group splits the bill at dinner, somehow I owe the most.