My friend is trying to kick me out of our World Cup group chat over a dip.

By @maetbh · Friends

For our USA game watch party, she made a "soccer field" 7-layer dip. It looked... creative, but tasted so bad that nobody touched it, and now she's blaming me for "leading the boycott.".

The full story

Okay, so you have to understand the dynamic here. My friend—let's call her the 'commissioner' of our friend group—gets WAY too into themes. For the World Cup, she decided every watch party needed themed food. For the USA match yesterday, she unveiled her masterpiece: a 7-layer dip in a big glass tray, decorated to look like a soccer pitch. I know what you're thinking. "Cute!" No. Not cute. The "grass" was a layer of guacamole that had to be at least three days old; it was brownish-green. The "lines" were made of sour cream piped from a Ziploc bag, but the sour cream was chunky and warm. The "soccer ball" in the middle was a giant ball of cream cheese covered in black olive bits. But the worst part, the part that haunts me, was the base layer. Instead of refried beans, she used... a blended-up can of kidney beans. Just watery, beany sadness. So the dip comes out. It is placed on the altar (the coffee table). And we all just... stare at it. Nobody wants to be the first to defile the art, or maybe nobody wants to get food poisoning. My buddy next to me whispers, "Is that sour cream sweating?" I stifled a laugh, and the commissioner saw me. An hour goes by. The USA is playing great, everyone is hyped, but the dip remains pristine. Untouched. A monument to her effort and our fear. Then, at halftime, she stands up and dramatically asks why NO ONE has eaten her dip. Dead silence. A few people mumbled about being full from pizza. But she locks eyes with me. "I saw you laughing earlier," she says. "You turned everyone against it." I tried to explain that I was laughing at a joke, but the damage was done. The vibe was ruined. She packed up her cursed dip and left in a huff before the second half even started. This morning I woke up to a dozen messages in the group chat from her, saying I was a "hater" and "disrespectful" and that she was thinking of "re-evaluating" my membership in the friend group for the rest of the tournament. Over a dip!

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