Itemizing the bill at a group dinner is not rude, it’s financially literate.
By @ashlately · Money
I’m tired of the lazy 'let's just split it evenly' conversation. No, I am not subsidizing your three cocktails and lobster tail when I got a chicken caesar and a water.
The full story
Here's my official stance, and I don't care who disagrees: The default for any group meal with friends should be to itemize. The only people who get mad about this are the ones who consistently order the most expensive things on the menu and expect the rest of us to cover it. We went out for a friend’s birthday last weekend, a group of eight. It was one of those places where the entrees are like $40+. I knew it was going to be pricey, so I planned accordingly. I ordered a perfectly nice chicken dish and drank water. Meanwhile, one specific friend of mine goes all out: the filet mignon, a side of truffle fries, a shrimp cocktail appetizer just for her, and at least three spicy margaritas. I'm not exaggerating. The bill comes, and it's a monster, like over $700. Before the server can even ask, this same friend chirps up, 'Let’s just make it easy and split it evenly! Birthday girl doesn't pay!' Everyone kind of nervously nods. I waited a second, thinking someone else might say something, but of course, nobody did. They'd all rather just quietly pay an extra $40 than have 15 seconds of awkwardness. So I spoke up. I said, 'Actually, I’d rather just pay for what I got, it’ll be easier for me.' The mood immediately shifted. The margarita-friend got visibly annoyed and was like, 'Seriously? It's a birthday celebration.' I just said 'Yep!' and pulled out my phone's calculator. My meal was about $55. Splitting her way would have been close to $115. Absolutely not. I Venmo'd the person who put the card down for my exact amount plus a 25% tip. The rest of them could figure out their mess themselves. The group chat has been incredibly frosty since, and the friend who ordered half the menu is definitely talking behind my back. I don't care. We are not in college anymore, we are adults with budgets. Stop expecting your friends to foot the bill for your bougie taste.
How people voted
- Valid Take — 28% (37 votes)
- I’m Torn — 46% (61 votes)
- Bad Take — 26% (35 votes)
Readers say “I’m Torn” (46%) — 133 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@nathanok — That's not a friend, that's a financial leech.
@xenatbh — I love the part where grown adults are bad at math.
@danasorta — Weak.
@finnkindof — I have a feeling you weren't as polite about it as you're letting on.
@owenliterally — The next group dinner I'd show up after eating and just order a water lol.
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