I need to write a 'please don't do this' list for my rental cabin that isn't completely passive-aggressive.

By @inesmm · Money

I rent out a cabin to make some extra money, and my guests keep doing things that are so weirdly specific I don't know how to forbid them. At this point, the house manual is going to be 50 pages long.

The full story

My wife and I bought a small cabin a few years ago. To help with the mortgage, we list it as a short-term rental on weekends we aren't using it. We have a standard 'house rules' document: no smoking, be respectful of the neighbors, check-out procedures, etc. I thought this was enough. I was wrong. It feels like every other guest comes up with a new, unforeseen way to create chaos. These aren't even malicious people, they just seem to have no common sense. I need to update my rules, but I don't want to sound like a deranged person who hates their guests. Here are some of the things I'm trying to legislate against, all based on real events: 1. Rearranging the kitchen. A group last month literally emptied every single cupboard and drawer and reorganized them. they said they left it 'more intuitive' for us. It took me two hours to put everything back. How do I say 'please do not re-architect my kitchen' politely? 2. The decorative antique problem. I have an old-fashioned, non-functional wood stove in the living room as a decorative piece. There are signs on it that say 'Not for use. Decoration only.' Last winter, a couple tried to light a fire in it. They didn't understand why the cabin filled with smoke. I feel like I need a rule that says 'The signs are not suggestions.' 3. Unauthorized construction. The last guest brought their own hammock and tried to string it up from the porch supports. They drilled hooks into a beam that wasn't structural and cracked it. Do I really have to write a rule that says 'Do not drill holes in my house'? 4. Wildlife 'friends.' A family left a 5-star review but mentioned they had a great time feeding the bears from the deck. They left bread and jam out for them 'to make friends.' So now I have bears who think my cabin is a drive-thru. How do I write rules for this? 'Please use common sense' is clearly not working. I need to be more specific but I'm worried a long list of 'don'ts' will make us seem like horrible hosts and scare off normal, well-behaved guests. Where is the line between protecting my property and being a helicopter-host?

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