I made a spreadsheet to prove my boyfriend is statistically worse at coaching our fantasy team.
By @sashakay · Sports
He got mad and said I'm turning our fantasy league into a job and taking the fun out of it. I said if he'd just listen to my waiver wire suggestions, I wouldn't have to resort to this.
The full story
My boyfriend (31) and I (29) share a fantasy football team. We've done this for three years, it's a league with his college friends, and it's mostly for fun. But 'for fun' doesn't mean I enjoy losing. The problem is, he thinks because he watches more RedZone on Sundays, he automatically knows more about player management. He absolutely does not. Every week, it's the same argument. I'll say 'we should grab this running back, his usage is trending up' and he'll be like 'nah, I'm starting the guy who got 3 points last week, I have a gut feeling.' His gut is consistently wrong. Like, statistically, demonstrably wrong. So this weekend, I finally had enough. I spent like three hours on Sunday morning making a full-blown spreadsheet. I pulled all of our roster data from the last two seasons. I tracked every single 'gut feeling' start he made versus the player I had suggested we start. I calculated the point differentials, charted the missed opportunities, and even made a color-coded graph showing how many games we would have won if he'd just listened to me. The final tally was that his gut decisions have cost us at least 6 wins over two years. When I presented it to him, he did not see it as the helpful, constructive document I intended. He got super defensive and said I was 'sucking the life out of the game' and that he just wants to 'watch ball and have a good time.' I told him losing isn't a good time! He's acting like I committed a felony, but I feel like I just came prepared with data to back up my claims. He's not talking to me now, but I feel like I'm not the crazy one here. Was I wrong to bring receipts?
How people voted
- Facts — 26% (61 votes)
- Depends — 39% (89 votes)
- No Way — 35% (81 votes)
Readers are split: “Depends” leads with 39% — 231 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@guskay — Why not just manage your own teams if it's this serious?
@gabeactually — lmaoooo
@liamliterally — I'd make a new spreadsheet tracking how many times he's wrong about other stuff too.
@violetwelp — I'm sure he found the color-coded graph very constructive.
@niakindof — Fantasy isn't that deep bro.
Keep reading
- I benched my boyfriend's fantasy football starter as an anniversary prank.
- I checked a younger guy for bat flipping in beer league softball.
- I kicked my buddy's girlfriend out of our Sunday football watch party for unplugging the TV.
- I uninvited my friend from our annual football trip because he expected us to cover his ticket.
- Fantasy football trade vetos should be banned entirely unless someone proves collusion.