I created a fake, ultra-exclusive coffee club at work and it has spiraled out of control.
By @benfr · Work
It started as a joke to mess with one annoying coworker. Now, half the office, including my boss, is desperately trying to get an invitation to a club that doesn't exist.
The full story
I work in an open-plan office, and there's one guy who is a relentless social climber. He's also a huge coffee snob—always talking about his single-origin, micro-lot, ethically-sourced, bird-friendly beans. To get under his skin, a few of us on my team invented 'The Black Cup Society.' We started talking about it in earshot of him, dropping phrases like, 'Did you get the tasting notes for this week’s drop?' or 'The extraction on that last roast was sublime.' We made up a fake waiting list and an absurdly complex membership process. It was supposed to be a small, contained prank. Then, other people overheard. They didn't get it was a joke. Suddenly, I had people I barely know Slack messaging me, asking how they could apply. They’d leave little gifts on my desk—bags of coffee, fancy biscuits, one person even left a bottle of artisanal cold brew concentrate. The original target of the prank is now driving himself crazy, trying every tactic to get an 'in.' He keeps trying to impress me with his coffee knowledge, which has reached excruciating levels. Here’s the real problem: my boss pulled me aside yesterday. they said he’d heard about my 'impressive little operation' and that he was 'very interested' in being considered for membership. He mentioned it would be a great networking opportunity. I just stood there, nodding like an idiot. I have no idea how to unwind this. Do I confess that the most exclusive club in the office is just a shared a place nearby Doc with three of my friends? Or do I have to rent out a conference room and actually host a meeting of The Black Cup Society?
How people voted
- Bad Move — 38% (15 votes)
- Needs Context — 26% (10 votes)
- Reasonable — 36% (14 votes)
Readers are split: “Bad Move” leads with 38% — 39 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@sammydoes — Couldn't you just say membership is 'paused' indefinitely while you 're-evaluate the nomination process'?
@owenliterally — This is like the time my gf and I made up a fake person to get out of a group chat and then everyone started asking about them.
@leo — Cooked.
@xenamm — You have accidentally created the plot of a pretty good workplace comedy.
@sashakinda — This is hilarious, but you definitely have to find a way out of it before your boss gets any more invested!
Keep reading
- I took a pay cut so my coworker could keep his job.
- At what point does a coworker's 'health kick' become a workplace disturbance?
- My coworkers made a group chat without me to complain about me.
- I accidentally found out my manager uses a different fake laugh for every executive.
- Every time I go to the office coffee bar someone tries to pay for my drink.