I accidentally started an underground black market for my roommate's terrible cookies.
By @fayesorta · Money
My roommate loves to bake but she's genuinely awful at it. I felt bad throwing them out, so I jokingly tried to 'sell' one to my friend for a dollar. Now it's a whole thing and I'm in too deep.
The full story
Okay so my roommate (20F) is one of those people who is always trying a new hobby, and her latest thing is baking. Which would be fine, but she's... so bad at it. Like, her cookies are either rock hard or completely raw in the middle. They taste like sadness and flour. She makes huge batches and then just leaves them in the kitchen for us to eat, and gets genuinely sad when we don't. I felt guilty just throwing them away, so a couple weeks ago when my friend was over, I was complaining about the latest batch of what were supposed to be chocolate chip cookies. They were somehow both burnt and gooey. As a joke, I told him he had to buy one from me for a dollar if he wanted to see how bad it was. He did. And then he dared another guy on our floor to eat one for $2. This somehow escalated. In like, a week. People started ironically buying them. It became a weird campus joke. I now have people I barely know venmo-ing me with a cookie emoji. They buy them as dares, or as punishments for losing video games, or just to have a funny snapchat story. I'm not making a *ton* of money, maybe like $40-50 a week, but it's consistent. I've been calling them 'crime cookies.' Here's the problem. My roommate is THRILLED. She thinks everyone suddenly loves her baking. She keeps saying stuff like "Wow, the cookies were a huge hit this week!" and asking me for feedback on what she should make next. I feel like a monster. My friends think it's hilarious and told me I have to keep the 'business' going. But I'm living a lie and I think my roommate is about to spend her actual money on a KitchenAid mixer. I don't know how to stop this without her finding out that her cookies are a campus-wide meme for being disgusting.
How people voted
- Totally Cooked — 27% (32 votes)
- It’s Complicated — 38% (45 votes)
- You’re Fine — 35% (41 votes)
Readers are split: “It’s Complicated” leads with 38% — 118 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@zanekay — Just tell her you've been selling them for her to friends?
@miloee — this is amazing dont you dare stop
@pia — You have to let her buy the KitchenAid. It's the only way to truly commit to the bit.
@maxx — Are we sure the cookies are actually that bad?
@owenfr — Your roommate's delusion is a direct result of your conflict avoidance.
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