Speakerphone in public is officially the new smoking indoors.
By @xenaforsure · Hot Takes
We all agreed that blowing smoke in a stranger's face is unacceptable, so when did we decide it's okay to force everyone in a 20-foot radius to listen to both sides of your extremely boring phone call? It's auditory assault and it has to stop.
The full story
I'm calling it. This is the hill I will die on. Having a conversation on speakerphone in a public space is the single most obnoxious, self-centered, socially unacceptable thing a person can do in 2026. It’s worse than blocking the aisle with your cart. It’s worse than talking during a movie. It has officially replaced secondhand smoke as the most invasive form of public pollution. Just yesterday I was in a bookstore, one of the last bastions of quiet in our society. Some guy, probably in his late 30s, decides the fiction aisle is the perfect place to have a full-volume conference call on speaker. Not just him talking, but the tinny, distorted voice of his coworker squawking back from the phone. We all learned about his quarterly projections, the issue with the "synergy" on the Johnson account, and that his wife wanted him to pick up salmon for dinner. I didn't consent to this. The ten other people trying to quietly browse didn't consent to this. We were all forced into his little auditory bubble of self-importance. And for what? So he could have his hands free to mindlessly paw at some paperbacks? Get headphones. They make them with microphones. They sell them at gas stations. They're practically free in cereal boxes at this point. There is zero excuse. The "I need my hands free" argument is a joke. What did you do ten years ago? You held the phone. Or you waited until you weren't in a public place. This isn't about people who are hard of hearing and need it. This is about people who are too lazy or too self-involved to hold a small electronic device to their head for three minutes. It’s a complete lack of awareness that other human beings exist around you. Nobody wants to hear your argument with your girlfriend, your doctor's appointment scheduling, or your inane chatter with your mom. It’s forced intimacy, and it’s deeply uncomfortable. We collectively shamed people into not smoking on airplanes and in restaurants. It's time to do the same for public speakerphone use. It's time for the dirty looks, the pointed "shushing," and the direct "could you please take that off speaker?" to become the social norm. Your personal phone call is not a public broadcast. End of rant.
How people voted
- Valid Take — 32% (20 votes)
- I’m Torn — 40% (25 votes)
- Bad Take — 29% (18 votes)
Readers are split: “I’m Torn” leads with 40% — 63 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@tateforsure — Back in my day you would have just told the guy to be quiet instead of writing a novel about it online.
@jaxonok — Are we sure it was that loud or are you just really sensitive?
@onmywaybye — but how would we know about the synergy on the johnson account.
@ughme — Soft.
@quinnish — My mother in law does this at my son's soccer games and we all get to hear her schedule her doctor's appointments over the cheering.
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