My coworker's 'productivity' playlist is destroying our team's actual productivity.
By @avamm · Work
She insists on playing this bizarre, ambient-whale-song-meets-spa-music out loud for 'deep focus'. Everyone is miserable, but our manager thinks it's a great wellness initiative.
The full story
I work in an open-plan office, which is already a challenge for concentration. But for the last month, it’s been torture. A newer person on my team—let's call her the 'Chief Wellness Officer'—has taken it upon herself to become the office DJ. She read an article about ambient soundscapes boosting productivity, and now she plays her 'focus' music on a speaker for the entire team to 'benefit' from. The music itself is indescribable. It’s not Lo-fi beats. It’s not classical. It’s this pulsing, experimental, new-age drone music that sounds like a dial-up modem having a conversation with a humpback whale in a wind tunnel. Sometimes a random harp will pluck a few notes before being consumed by what I can only describe as synthesizer static. It is the single most distracting sound I have ever heard. Normally, this would be an easy fix: 'Hey, can you use headphones?' But she pitched it to our manager as a 'synergistic productivity enhancement' and a 'non-invasive wellness tool.' Our manager, who loves corporate buzzwords more than his own family, ate it up. He praised her initiative in a team meeting. Now if you complain, you’re not a 'team player' and you’re 'resisting positive workflow changes.' I’ve tried wearing my own headphones, but the bass pulses through the desk. I can still feel it. Last week, I was on a client call and the client literally asked what 'that bizarre noise' was in the background. My productivity has tanked because I spend half the day fantasizing about throwing her bluetooth speaker out the window. I feel like I'm losing my mind, but I don't want to cause a huge issue when my manager is so weirdly enthusiastic about it.
How people voted
- OP Is Right — 32% (15 votes)
- Both Messy — 43% (20 votes)
- OP Is Wrong — 26% (12 votes)
Readers say “Both Messy” (43%) — 47 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@gusyk — My first job, the manager would walk around ringing a little bell to 'wake us up'. I quit after three weeks. I feel your pain.
@didieven — You are a better person than me. I would have 'accidentally' spilled coffee on that speaker by day two. 'Synergistic productivity enhancement' is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
@paigelol — lmaoooo
@hadtosay — fight back play your own music and call it an aggressive growth soundscape
@tom — This is a classic 'outward mindset' failure on your part; you're seeing your coworkers as obstacles to your own preferences instead of collaborators toward a shared goal.
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