I had to explain to my new manager that our team's 'meetings' are just my coworkers gossiping.
By @zanesorta · Work
I started a new job a few months ago. I noticed my team has multiple meetings a day that are just video calls where three of my coworkers talk about their personal lives and complain about people. My manager just asked me why I never attend them.
The full story
I'm not a big talker at work. I do my job, I'm friendly enough in chat, and I go home. This new role is fully remote, which I thought I would like. On my first day, I was added to about five recurring daily 'team meetings'. I joined the first few and quickly realized they were not about work. It's the same three people every time, and they just gossip. They complain about their husbands, other coworkers, and sometimes even clients. It felt unprofessional and honestly, just a waste of time. I have actual work to do, so I just started declining the invitations. I figured if it was important, someone would message me. they said anything for two months. This week, my manager, who is also new to the company, scheduled a one-on-one with me. He was very nice about it, but he pointed out that I have a 0% attendance rate for our internal team syncs. they said he was concerned about my integration with the team and that it might look like I'm not a team player. I was so anxious I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to throw my coworkers under the bus, but I also didn't want to be forced to sit in a Mean Girls call for an hour every day. I just said it as plainly as I could. 'With respect, those meetings are not about work. It is an hour of non-work-related social conversation, and I have deadlines.' He looked surprised and asked for specifics, and I just told him the topics are usually personal lives and grievances, not project updates. Now I've created this incredibly awkward situation. My manager is going to have to address it, my coworkers are going to know I'm the one who said something, and I'm sure they're gossiping about me in one of their calls right now. I feel like I should have just lied and started attending the meetings.
How people voted
- On their side — 30% (44 votes)
- Both sides — 40% (59 votes)
- Other side — 30% (45 votes)
Readers are split: “Both sides” leads with 40% — 148 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@avahm — This happened at my last job and they ended up firing the gossips.
@yaraforsure — lmao
@ivywelp — soft.
@colekay — What did you think was going to happen when a new manager came in?
@maddy — you should have just sat there with your camera off and muted lol
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