Group dinners should officially ban splitting the check evenly.

By @tessactually · Hot Takes

It is the single most unfair social contract we all collectively agree to. I'm sorry, but if you ordered a single side salad, you should not be subsidizing your friend's third $18 cocktail.

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Here's my hot take: anyone who suggests 'let's just split it' on a group bill for more than four people is a low-key thief. We had a birthday dinner last weekend for a friend. There were eight of us. The vibes were great until the check came. One person, predictably, chirps up with 'let's just all split it, it's easier!' No. It's not 'easier,' it's lazy and it's actively screwing someone over. I ordered a pasta dish and one glass of wine. My bill was maybe $45. The guy next to me had two appetizers for the table (that only he and his gf really ate), the most expensive steak on the menu, and three old-fashioneds. His total had to be north of $150. Meanwhile, another friend on the other end literally just had a bowl of soup because she wasn't feeling well. If we split it evenly, my friend who had soup and I are paying DOUBLE what we actually owe to cover the guy who treated the group dinner like his own personal feast. Why is this normal? We're all adults with calculator apps on our phones. It takes 90 seconds to Venmo request everyone for what they actually owe. The fact that suggesting this makes YOU the bad guy is insane. If you can't afford what you ordered, order something cheaper. Don't expect your friends to pick up your tab under the guise of 'convenience'. From now on, I'm the person who asks the server for an itemized bill and I will feel no shame.

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